When Nourify and Beautify co-hosts Nour Abouchama and Linda Yates sat down with Brett Cotter for their latest episode, it wasn’t just another talk about self-care or the latest wellness trend.
It was a masterclass in something far more grounding: learning to stop running from your stress—and finally face it with love.
Cotter, the founder of Stress Is Gone, has spent over two decades helping people release trauma, manage anxiety, and reconnect with their inner calm.
But he doesn’t push apps, supplements, or 30-day challenges. His work is quiet, intimate, and deeply personal.
As he puts it: “The answer is within you, and I encourage you to invest inside yourself. You are your best investment.”
It’s the kind of message that hits you in the gut. Because deep down, we all know he’s right.
The man behind the method
Brett Cotter wasn’t always a trauma coach. His journey started in 1999 with a meditation practice—and a wake-up call.
At 27, he recognized a pattern in his relationships. He would become irrationally jealous around the 18-month mark.
That realization sent him searching for answers, which led him to a spontaneous weekend session with an emotional healer in Sedona, Arizona.
In that session, a memory from when he was five years old surfaced—his parents arguing while he watched silently.
What followed was a release of jealousy, then anger, sadness, and finally, the fear of abandonment. After that moment, Cotter says jealousy never hijacked another relationship in his life.
That breakthrough launched his life’s work.
“I was like a moth to a flame,” he told the hosts. “I followed that feeling. I learned from different masters and healers and started crafting my own process.”
What makes Stress Is Gone different?
The technique at the heart of Cotter’s method is called Stress Stopper Breathwork—a simple three-step practice designed to disarm the stress response in less than a minute.
It’s not some lofty ritual. It’s something you can do in bed, in the car, or while waiting in line.
Here’s the breakdown:
- Touch the tension in your body (e.g., your chest, stomach, or throat).
- Breathe deeply and slowly, feeling the air move through your body.
- Repeat the mantra “I’m okay” once per breath, silently.
Each step is intentional. Touch activates a healing response. Deep breathing pulls the body out of fight-or-flight. And the mantra sends a new message to cells that have been stuck in survival mode.
And yes, there’s science behind all of it.
While Cotter admits he hasn’t run a $300,000 clinical trial, his research-backed technique has been certified by the American Institute of Stress.
Individually, the components—touch, breath, mantra—have all been studied for decades. Cotter is simply the first to combine them into one seamless practice.
The body remembers what the mind forgets
One of Cotter’s most compelling insights is about where stress lives. He explains that unresolved trauma shows up in specific areas of the body depending on what’s been suppressed.
If your throat tightens during an argument, it’s likely because you’ve learned to hold back what you really want to say.
If your stomach knots up on Sunday nights, your body could be reacting to years of buried dread about work. Even jaw tension, eye strain, or chronic back pain can be the body’s way of holding on to old emotional wounds.
But with consistent breathwork and awareness, Cotter says, these areas can “untie like a knot.”
And once they do, people don’t just feel better emotionally—they begin to physically heal, too.
This isn’t a replacement for therapy. It’s a return to yourself.
Cotter is careful not to pitch his method as a substitute for therapy or medication.
He sees his work as a complement—a tool you can use alongside whatever healing path you’re already on.
“I don’t claim it’s a fix-all,” he says. “But it’s a beautiful act of self-love. It puts healing in the palm of your hand.”
And that’s what makes his teaching style resonate so deeply. It’s not preachy or prescriptive. It’s empowering.
You don’t have to wait for a retreat, a diagnosis, or someone else’s permission. You can start tonight—hand on heart, breathing deeply, whispering “I’m okay.”
It’s that simple. And that profound.
Why modern self-care is missing the point
The episode didn’t shy away from critique either.
Cotter voiced his concern about how self-care has been commercialized—turned into products and influencers rather than practices and rituals.
He believes true self-care isn’t glamorous. It’s quiet. It’s you, in your body, listening to what your pain is trying to say. Sometimes that means crying. Sometimes it means finally breathing into the tension instead of numbing it.
“If I have a pain in my hip,” he says, “I put my hand there, breathe into it, and listen. Is it sharp? Is it emotional? I just get curious. That’s self-care. That’s connection.”
The stress-aging connection no one talks about
Cotter also spoke about the link between stress and aging—and how meditation could actually be the real Fountain of Youth.
He referenced a study that showed people who meditated daily for five years had cells that were 12+ years younger than their biological age.
The science? Stress shortens our telomeres, the protective caps on our DNA.
When those wear down, we age faster. When we reduce stress, our cells regenerate more easily.
It’s not magic. It’s biology.
Real transformation starts when you stop running
One of the most powerful moments of the interview came when Cotter talked about working with people experiencing suicidal ideation.
In one session, a client described seeing light—literal light—coming from Cotter’s eyes. Another saw it emerge from his throat.
“That light cuts through the illusion,” he explained. “It brings us back to the truth of who we are.”
He believes every person is walking around with a transformation story waiting to unfold—but to get there, we have to stop running from our emotions.
“Turn toward everything you’re running from,” he said in the episode’s final moments.
“Embrace those emotions with your breath. Come back to the present moment. You can do it.”
A message we didn’t know we needed
For many listeners, the takeaway was less about a technique and more about a shift in mindset.
Cotter’s message challenges the idea that wellness is something we have to buy, earn, or chase.
Instead, it’s about coming home to yourself. Every single day.
“We always put our loved ones ahead of us. But if we don’t love ourselves first, everyone gets a second-rate version of who we are.”
It’s a simple truth and one worth repeating.
So if you’re tired, burned out, or overwhelmed, maybe you don’t need another tool or trend.
Maybe you just need to lie down, place your hand on your chest, and remember:
You’re okay.
And you’re not alone.
